It hit me today. Even though my son is a Junior in high school now, I finally realized what’s wrong in my world today. It hit me like a ton of bricks as I left work and all of my friends had plans. I’m lonely. I didn’t want to go home to my big empty house with no one to talk to. I miss him and I miss being the hands on Mom I’ve been for 17 years.
Because I’ve been recovering from my car accident and caring for some pretty sick family members I didn’t feel this way during his first two years at a local boarding school. But tonight as I headed to dinner alone it hit me. I’m suffering from empty nest syndrome. I googled it, it’s an accurate self diagnosis.
I don’t know anyone my age who is going through this. Most of my friends are having their first or second babies, re-marrying post-divorce or looking for love after a wonderful career. I’m completely in limbo. I date someone wonderful but we live pretty far from each other and it only takes up one night every other week in my life for the most part. I’m back in school taking three classes but that just exhausts me and gives me homework I have to do alone at home. Not helpful. I’ve grown tired of partying and going out drinking or dancing every week. I have two amazing dogs that get me out of the house but the dog park scene makes me feel quite stabby.
I honestly don’t even know where to go from here? Most of the empty nesters I know are well into their fifties and facing a happy retirement. Being a young Mom was the best thing that ever happened to me, but now I find myself a thirty eight year old empty nester. Google produced some great support groups. Maybe my next step is to read message boards and self help books.